Can you lick your elbow?

Wok & Roll by Peter Kwong, (Frederic) Inter-County Leader

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Just when I thought I knew everything, a good friend sent me an email titled “Did you know?”

Well, he is retired, and his fun time is finding interesting articles on the Internet and sending them to his friends and family, whether they like it or not. Lucky me. Yet, some of the stuff he sends is quite interesting, so I want to share it with you, hoping that you enjoy it as much as I do.

Did you know?

• In the 1400s, a law was set forth in England that a man was allowed to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have the “rule of thumb.”
• Many years ago in Scotland, a new game was invented. It was ruled “Gentlemen Only … Ladies Forbidden.” And thus, the word GOLF entered into the English language.
• The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime-time TV were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.
• Coca-Cola was originally green.
• It is impossible to lick your own elbow.
• The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of 11 is $12,974.
• The first novel ever written on a typewriter was “Tom Sawyer.”
• Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:

Spades – King David, Hearts – Charlemagne, Clubs – Alexander the Great, Diamonds – Julius Caesar.

• 1111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321.
• If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died because of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.
• If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter A? One thousand.
• What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers have in common? All were invented by women.
• What is the only food that doesn’t spoil? Honey.
• In Shakespeare’s time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes, the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase … ”Good night, sleep tight.”
• It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride’s father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is honey beer and because their calendar was lunar-based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon.
• In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts. In old England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them, “Mind your pints and quarts and settle down.” It is how we get the phrase: “Mind your P’s and Q’s.”
• Many years ago in England, pubs frequently had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. “Wet your whistle” is the phrase inspired by this practice.
• Can you lick your elbow??

More fun stuff

You know you are living in 2019 when:

1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave.
2. You haven’t played Solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.
4. You email the person who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for staying in touch with friends and family is that they don’t have e-mail addresses.
6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your mobile phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.
7. Every commercial on TV has a website at the bottom of the screen.
8. Leaving the house without your mobile phone is now a cause for panic. You actually will turn around to get it.
9. 10You get up in the morning and go online before getting your coffee.
10. You start tilting your head sideways to smile : )
11. You are actually nodding and agreeing, and laughing, right now.

Ha ha ha, laugh yourself silly. Life is too short. Have a little fun and enjoy the journey.

Talk about having a little fun, here are a few jokes that I would like to share with y’all, enjoy!!

A man and a woman were sharing a first-class cabin on a long journey. While the lady was enjoying reading her book, the guy was talking to his wife on the phone the minute the train left the depot. He was telling his wife what he had for breakfast, the details of his business meetings, and the accommodations of the different hotels that he stayed in. It went on for hours, and the guy was talking freely and loudly, having a grand time. Finally, the lady had enough. She went over to the guy, grabbed his phone, and said, “Honey, can you come back to bed?” and then went back to her seat.

It was silence all the way to their destination.

***

An elderly gentleman visited the jewelry store with his young love interest. She was looking at rings and necklaces. Finally, she found a bracelet that she liked, and the price tag was $35,000!

Without blinking an eye, the elderly gentleman approached the owner and said, “Sir, I do not carry that much cash on me. But I’ll give you a check for $35,000, which you can cash on Monday, after I transfer my funds. I’ll come and pick up the bracelet when the account is clear.” The deal was done, and everyone was happy. Come Monday, the owner was furious, finding out that the account didn’t have enough money to cover the purchase. He called the elderly gentleman, and he calmly replied, “Yes, I know that I don’t have enough money in the account. But let me tell you what a wonderful weekend I had.”

Hope you are laughing. And how does that elbow of yours taste?

Go to phkwong.com for more columns and to purchase his book, “Wok & Roll.”