Enjoying the positive side of being a senior citizen

Wok & Roll by Peter Kwong, (Frederic) Inter-County Leader
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I don’t remember when I became a senior citizen, but I kind of enjoy the status. I enjoyed the benefits long before I began to collect Social Security.

My hair started turning gray when I turned 40; then it got grayer and grayer and finally started to disappear, strand by strand. After all these years, there aren’t many left. Boo hoo. Oh well, that’s life, what to do?

Peter Kwong
Peter Kwong

I remember when my wife and I visited Hong Kong a few years back, my buddies took me on a bus tour to an ancient temple a long distance away. They all paid the bus fare, which was around $45 in Hong Kong currency. However, the cashier took a look at me and only charged me $8.

While I was shocked and overjoyed, I asked her why the privilege. She told me that I got the senior citizens rate, while my buddies who are the same age had to pay full price. My buddies were laughing their heads off and I asked myself, “Do I really look that old?” Geez!

Recently, I had an article sent to me by my good friend, Ken Mettler, who also sings with me in the Indianhead Chorus. It is about senior citizens. I have his blessing to print the article. So here it is, enjoy. Smile, but don’t laugh too loud. People around you have no idea what you’re up to.

Senior citizens are constantly being criticized for every conceivable deficiency of the modern world, real or imaginary. We know we take responsibility for all we have done and do not try to blame others. However, upon reflection, we would like to point out that it was not senior citizens who took:

  • The melody out of music
  • The pride out of appearance
  • The courtesy out of driving
  • The romance out of love
  • The commitment out of marriage
  • The responsibility out of parenthood
  • The togetherness out of family
  • The learning out of education
  • The service out of patriotism
  • The golden rule out of rulers
  • The nativity scene out of cities
  • The civility out of behavior
  • The refinement out of language
  • The dedication out of employment
  • The prudence out of spending
  • God out of government and school

And we certainly are not the ones who eliminated patience and tolerance from personal relationships and interactions with others! And, we do understand the meaning of patriotism and remember those who fought and died for our country.

Just look at the seniors with tears in their eyes and pride in their hearts as they stand at attention with their hands over their hearts, as the American flag passes by in a parade.

Yes, I’m a senior citizen.

And here are a few more notes about being a senior citizen:

  • I’m the life of the party … even if it lasts until 8 p.m.
  • I’m very good at opening childproof caps … with a hammer.
  • I’m awake many hours before my body allows me to get up.
  • I’m smiling all the time, because I can’t hear a word you’re saying.
  • I’m sure everything I can’t find is in a safe secure place, somewhere.
  • I’m wrinkled, saggy, lumpy … and that’s just my left leg.
  • I’m beginning to realize that aging is not for wimps.

Yes, I’m a senior citizen and I think I am having the time of my life! Now if I could only remember who sent this to me. I wouldn’t send it back to them. Or, maybe I should send it to all my friends anyway. No matter, they might not remember, but what the heck.

And just when I thought I knew everything, another friend sent me a chart of how to teach the alphabet in the 21st century. Forget about “c is for cat,” and “d is for dog.” Are you ready?

  • A – Apple computer
  • B – Bluetooth
  • C – Chat
  • D – Download
  • E – Email
  • F – Facebook
  • G – Google
  • H – HTML (sorry, I don’t even know what this is)
  • I – iPhone
  • J – Java
  • K – Kindle
  • L – Laptop
  • M – MP3
  • N – Network
  • O – Office
  • P – Processor
  • Q – QR code (do you know how to use this?)
  • R – RSS (another mystery of life)
  • S – Server (not the one in a restaurant)
  • T – Twitter (ask our president)
  • U – USB
  • V – Virus
  • W – Wi-Fi
  • X – Xbox (never heard of it)
  • Y – YouTube
  • Z – Zip

If you understand this modern alphabet, you are not qualified to be a senior citizen yet. Wait a few more years. When you get a senior citizen discount at Culver’s without showing your ID, you know you’re in.

Enjoy the journey!